Carving out ‘me time’ for parent mental health. 

"Me time"? Yeah, right! With kids, work, and a never-ending to-do list, who’s got time for that? But here’s the thing—taking time for yourself isn’t selfish, it’s actually what keeps you going. So if you’re wondering how to make it happen, read below for some tips!

Before we get to the how it’s important to understand the why… 

So WHY is ‘me time’ important? 

"Me time" can be defined as taking care of your physical and mental health, which is essential for both your present and future well-being. When you look after yourself, you’re better equipped to handle life’s demands and be the best version of yourself  for your kids and your work.

Plus, as parents, we set the example. If we want our kids to value their own needs and passions, we have to model that by participating in our own. Making time for things that bring us joy isn’t just good for us—it helps teach our children to do the same. So really, "me time" isn’t selfish—it’s necessary!

What does ‘me time’ look like?      

When thinking about how to look after our body and mind, I like to use the ‘SELF…. ‘ER’ framework-  got to love an acronym!. 

S is for Self-Care: Let’s start with the basics—things that should be easy but often aren’t when you're exhausted (I’m talking to you new parents), like even brushing your teeth or taking a shower. These can feel like luxuries for a busy parent, and overthinking them only makes it harder. Overthinking simple tasks can make them feel impossible, and this makes it more and more anxiety provoking. Instead of stressing, just do it! (Thanks Nike!) Taking even a small step can give you a sense of achievement. And if you're struggling, hold yourself gently—you’re not alone!

E is for Exercise! I won’t bore you with stats, but exercise is important—not just for your body, but for your mind too. Aches and pains? Gentle movement helps. Feeling down? Exercise can lift your mood. Stressed? Sweat it out for some clarity.

It’s not about hitting a perfect routine—just start small! Even 10 minutes a day (or a week!) can make a difference. And most importantly, find something you enjoy—keep trying until you do (I love YouTube beginner yoga—not much sweat required!)

L is for Leisure: Prioritise things you enjoy! In fact, one common approach to improving mental health (alongside other treatments) is scheduling regular pleasurable activities.

Not sure what you enjoy anymore? Thinking of revisiting old hobbies or trying something new? This interest checklist might help.

F is for food: Food is a huge topic, and while we know what we should be eating (or a dietitian can advise), stress and exhaustion can throw us off track.

Two key takeaways:
1️⃣ Research shows the gut-brain connection is real—what we eat affects digestion, mood, inflammation, and overall health. So, aiming for a healthy diet does matter! (More tips for eating as a busy parent, in a future article!).

2️⃣ Most importantly, be kind to yourself. If you have an indulgent day with food, just try again next time. You deserve grace—no guilt needed! In fact, research shows guilting yourself increases the likelihood that you will indulge again- because it makes our mood worse, and therefore our willpower less!

E is for emotions: Emotions matter—ignoring them only makes things worse (we’ve all done something when we are emotional that we regret!). To understand and manage emotions, we need to acknowledge and listen to them. Every emotion has a purpose: happiness signals joy, sadness helps us process change or loss, and anger shows us where our boundaries are and if they have been crossed.

Want to get more in touch with your emotions? Try getting into nature, practicing mindfulness, being creative (even listening to music or singing in the shower!), journaling, or showing gratitude. And don’t underestimate your environment—clutter can add stress, while a change of scenery can work wonders.

R is for relationships: Ah relationships. They can cause so much joy, but also stress! Humans are a social species and hence these are inextricably tied to our emotions, but we also need connection to thrive. Take some alone time if you haven’t had much, but don’t forget to reach out and connect to others as well, even if via text. Sometimes a different perspective or a distraction is all we need to feel refreshed and ready to take on the world. 

Ok, I get what I have to do and that it’s important! But how do I fit it in?

Now that we’ve covered why “me time” matters, the next step is prioritizing it (easier said than done, right?). Take a moment to map out your week and find small pockets of time to recharge.

For example, if you’re exhausted after putting the kids to bed, unwinding with TV might be your “me time.” If the kids are watching TV, maybe sneak in 10 minutes of exercise, e.g doing weights in the lounge room.

You won’t always be able to do everything —and that’s okay! 

Using the visual chart below might help to reflect on how you’re balancing different areas of life and to see which part of ‘me time’ you can work on. Download the excel chart here, and rate how satisfied you are out of 10 for each area. 

Allow yourself to say No!

It can feel overwhelming with so much to do, and fitting in "me time" may seem impossible. But if we really look at how we spend our time, we might realize there are things we can say no to, even if we feel obligated.

Start small—find one thing to say no to in order to create space for yourself. Maybe it's adjusting an activity, skipping an extra-curricular, or turning down extra work. Your kids would prefer your presence and wellbeing over a brand-name gift. Ultimately, it’s about setting and enforcing healthy boundaries for the long term.

Communicate and ask for help! 

Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it—tell your partner, family, friends, or anyone else you’re involved with. It’s easy to assume people will just know what we’re going through, but they often don’t. Everyone’s busy, and people might not realize you need help unless you speak up. And don’t just ask for help when things are tough— try asking for it when you don’t necessarily need it too, to prioritize your "me time"- remember we are playing the long game, and asking for help regularly can prevent you getting to a stage where you feel burnt out. Trust the people in your life to say no if they’re too busy, and remember, starting small with requests regularly can help you gradually get more comfortable asking for bigger favors.

Take Micro-breaks! 

Mona Delahooke, a child clinical psychologist, introduces the concept of a 'microbreak' in her article. She suggests that when life gets too busy, we can do exercises such as taking short, two-minute breaks to reconnect with our surroundings by tuning into our senses. This simple practice can help manage stress and enhance well-being by providing a quick reset during hectic moments. If you would like more information take a look at this article: https://monadelahooke.com/microbreaks-how-a-few-moments-well-spent-can-change-your-whole-day/

Wishing you all the best with carving out your ‘me time!’, I hope these tips are useful!

Note: if you feel you need more support with this, a clinical psychologist or mental health occupational therapist, would be a great person to provide you with step-by-step support. 

If you need immediate help you can also contact: 

• Lifeline on 13 11 14